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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in Person without a LJ's LiveJournal:

Thursday, March 8th, 2007
10:18 pm
Little Miss Pink
wrote this story for school and it cracked me up:

Frogzilla:

Once upon a time, there was a prince named Frogzilla. He was about to be the king because his father, Frogmilla (also known as the king of Notball) was dying. He was VERY happy, because he disliked his father so much. (He very much enjoyed telling people that his father's name was Mr. Snotball, the King of Notball.)

His mother, on the other hand, was a very nice young lady from Paris, France. His mother's name was Froghillary. Froghillary did not love Frogmilla either because she was forced to marry him. They made a horrible couple because Frogmilla never even wanted to be married. Frogmilla and Froghillary don't go well together because half the time Frogmilla was drunk and the other half, he was lighting the house on fire with his pipe. That is why they raised a horrible son. And that is also why they only had 1 dollar left.

So it was a good thing that as soon as he became the King, he would not be so poor anymore. He was in a school that was specially made for princes who would soon be kings. There were only 9 kids in his class if you do not include him. (There were ten kids altogether.) His teachers were supposed to teach them about being in charge of a lot of things. They were teaching very well, but the only problem was that Frogzilla didn't pay attention in class at all!!! Then, it was finally time for him to become the king. He got a wife named Frogsusan and had twin babies! A girl and a boy. The girl's name was Frogkathy and the boy's name was Frogwilla. He got a big palace and he got very rich. He made up a lot of silly rules because he didn't know what else to do because he didn't listen in his classes. One of his rules was that you were not allowed to wear a hat on your head, you were only allowed to wear them on your feet like shoes.

The town didn't like him as king so they made a petition to fire him. They got so many people to help that it actually worked. All of the townspeople live in his palace now. He built a tiny little mud-and-grass-house for his family and him. They were very poor again. Then one night, they all died of starvation.

The End

Crankyexpat really called it right when LMP was born, saying that we were SO gonna need a social worker. How did she know? (Don't answer that. Don't even think about it.)

p.s. my only suggestion for LMP was to add "They died happily ever after." after the line about dying of starvation. But she wouldn't go for it. She, like her mom (a very nice young lady from Paris, France), doesn't like anybody to write any of her lines for her.
Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
10:53 pm
Saturday, February 17th, 2007
10:15 pm
It turns out, actually, that I am vincible ...
Saturday night is a terrific night to go shopping at Whole Foods. The place is deserted. You have it all to yourself and there's no competition to speak of for the free sample offerings. So what I mean by "a terrific night", of course, is that it's a pathetic, sad night ... the type of night wherein every other Whole Foods type customer in the universe has enough going on in their life to have something better than grocery shopping to do. But anyway ...

So I went to the Whole Foods tonight to pick up a few things. And shopped at a slow leisurely pace as: the store was empty and so it was a reasonably pleasant shopping experience and I had nothing better to do anyway. So by the time I got to the cashier line (there WAS no line, of course, at the cashier line ... just a very young bored looking cashier girl), I was a little punchy. She asked me if I wanted plastic or paper and then asked me if she was packing the bags too heavy for me. I replied, "I am strong. I am invincible. I am woman." She asked me if that was a challenge. I said, no, that it was a song. Then, I paused and asked, "Do you know the song ... or am I really old?" She said that she did know the song. She then said that I did not look really old to her ... that I was PROBABLY not older than her mom ... she was, I'm guessing, in her 20's. (She was definitely older than 9.) I'm guessing that I'm a GOOD BIT younger than her mom. I'm having a BAD NIGHT. I'd even go so far as to say a bad series of nights. Perhaps this is even a cry for help. If not, this definitely is: HELP! (Kidding. Kidding. Relax.)

Love, Ms. Pink
Monday, December 18th, 2006
9:56 pm
a hanukkah story
I sent this to rozebud earlier today and she said that I should really post it more publicly ... so here ya go ...

We had a sort of funny menorah-related event on the first night this year (this past Friday night). Little Miss Pink'd been invited to a non-Jewish friend's house to play that afternoon after school and the friend's mom (who's also my friend) had invited me to join them for dinner that night. I was planning on having dinner with them and then on bringing Miss Pink home and having our first-night-of-Hanukkah thing at home. But Miss Pink called me before I'd made it over there to her friend's house to let me know that she'd been invited to spend the night. So ... I did my usual thing that I do under these circumstances. I packed Hanukkah up in a bag (figuring, then, that it'd have to be a BYOH dinner party). (I've had to do this before ... and so I'm very glad that the traditional Hanukkah accoutrements are much smaller than the xmas ones ... can you imagine if I had to pack up my family tree and all the presents and all to go to breakfast at a Jewish friend's house on the 25th? And smile smile smile?) Anyway, I got there and as soon as I walked in the door, the kids all ran up to me (there was Miss Pink, her best friend Z, Z's 2 sisters, Miss Pink's OTHER best friend, N, and a friend of one of Z's sisters ... so it was a huge assortment of little girls, none of whom are Jewish except for Miss Pink) and said that they knew that it was the first night of Hanukkah and that they wanted to celebrate. I started to tell them, then, that they were in luck because I'd brought Hanukkah with me to the party. But, they interrupted me and said they'd made their own impromptu Hanukkah equipment. They'd baked cupcakes and were going to use 10 of them - two for the tall middle candle holder and 4 on each side of it - and put one birthday candle in each one. I thought this was MIGHTY resourceful and culturally welcoming. Very cool kids. We had a nice little celebration, me and all my little goyim baker friends.

And the menorah was the most delicious one I've ever prayed to.

Latke love, your favorite atheist Jew, Ms. Pink

P.S. To top this off ... and not to gloat ... well maybe to gloat ... a certain ReadHerring came by to visit Pinkistan last night and guess which one of us knew only the first verse of the Hanukkah song and which one of us knew BOTH verses? Hmmmm? Miss Pink got mandala coloring books as her present last night and coloring them was advertised on the inside flap as being very calming and therapeutic ... well, I'm here to tell you that that's a load of nonsense ... ReadHerring, Miss Pink and I decided that we had never had such a stressful, less zen-like coloring experience EVER! Happy Hanukkah y'all.
Thursday, November 30th, 2006
11:17 pm
celebrities are funny when they try to think!
Lohan offers words of condolence to Altman's family: 'Be adequite'
By Andrew Gumbel in Los Angeles
Published: 29 November 2006


There are those who have been moved to great eloquence and passion by the death of the eminent film director Robert Altman. And then there is Lindsay Lohan.
The 20-year-old actress, who scored a part in Altman's last movie, A Prairie Home Companion, made the interesting decision to go public with a condolence letter she wrote to the Altman family in the wake of his death from cancer last week. The passion was certainly there - she, like many dozens of actors before her, clearly adored the experience of working in Altman's characteristic freeform style - but the letter was also spectacular in its incoherence and disregard of basic grammar and spelling.
"I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career," she began, less than certainly. "He was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years... He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do." A little lower down, she fell into improv philosophy, apparently riffing on the notion that life is too short to waste: "Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves' (12st book) - everytime there's a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on. - altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come." And she signed off, "Be adequite. Lindsay Lohan."
The letter has become the talk of Hollywood since its release over the weekend. Was the actress on a misguided - and utterly botched - quest for publicity, exploiting the death of a revered director for her own purposes? Had she been on one of her legendary party benders? Or was this Exhibit A for the indictment of America's education system?
Lohan fans sought to argue that the letter really was not that incoherent after all - the errors no worse than the average teenage e-mail exchange.
Patt Morrison, a columnist with the Los Angeles Times, begged to differ, calling the letter "alarmingly incoherent" and questioning what it was Lohan had learnt at the Long Island schools that gave her straight As.
"As for the brilliant Mr Altman himself," Ms Morrison added, "I suspect he might find sardonic comedic potential in all of this."

There are those who have been moved to great eloquence and passion by the death of the eminent film director Robert Altman. And then there is Lindsay Lohan.
The 20-year-old actress, who scored a part in Altman's last movie, A Prairie Home Companion, made the interesting decision to go public with a condolence letter she wrote to the Altman family in the wake of his death from cancer last week. The passion was certainly there - she, like many dozens of actors before her, clearly adored the experience of working in Altman's characteristic freeform style - but the letter was also spectacular in its incoherence and disregard of basic grammar and spelling.
"I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career," she began, less than certainly. "He was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years... He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do." A little lower down, she fell into improv philosophy, apparently riffing on the notion that life is too short to waste: "Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves' (12st book) - everytime there's a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on. - altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come." And she signed off, "Be adequite. Lindsay Lohan."

The letter has become the talk of Hollywood since its release over the weekend. Was the actress on a misguided - and utterly botched - quest for publicity, exploiting the death of a revered director for her own purposes? Had she been on one of her legendary party benders? Or was this Exhibit A for the indictment of America's education system?
Lohan fans sought to argue that the letter really was not that incoherent after all - the errors no worse than the average teenage e-mail exchange.
Patt Morrison, a columnist with the Los Angeles Times, begged to differ, calling the letter "alarmingly incoherent" and questioning what it was Lohan had learnt at the Long Island schools that gave her straight As.
"As for the brilliant Mr Altman himself," Ms Morrison added, "I suspect he might find sardonic comedic potential in all of this."
Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
9:51 pm
everybody's doin' it! C'mon don't you wanna be a coyote? Don't you wanna run free?
Don't you wanna link in a silly video too? Why yes, I do! (Good of you to ask. Oh, really, no need to thank me. The pleasure is all mine.)

http://www.supernet.net/~jclark/2006/03/juggling-beatles-music-net-humor-lot.html

Enjoy!

Love, Ms. Pink
Monday, October 24th, 2005
3:33 pm
P.S. My Cat is Dead ...
It was a sad day yesterday in Pinkistan.

She'd spent the past few days under the rocking chair in the living room barely moving. She wouldn't come out when called. Wouldn't purr. Just looked very sadly at you when you spoke to her. Wasn't eating. Wasn't drinking.

The Pot did coax her into having one Pounce before we took her to the vet to end her suffering. We all cried and cried. We brought her home and buried her in the backyard and cried some more.

RIP Scratchy Mutt (a.k.a. Scratchy Lennon, Scratchy Africa, Scratchy Marie, Scratchy Chicken). You will be missed.

Love, Ms. Pink
Wednesday, October 12th, 2005
4:42 pm
Tuesday, October 4th, 2005
7:55 am
book collections ...
Yesterday, this book that I ordered for the Pot came in the mail:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1400048575/qid=1128426858/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-4478722-4067807?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

I'm gonna give it to her for her bday or one of the December holidays or something. She collects books that reference her name (though this one will be her first that references her *full* name). Isn't it perfect?

Love, Ms. Pink

P.S. Now I'm afraid that this website will get too many suspicious hits and that Riley or Huey will angrily come looking for me.
Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
9:28 pm
an excerpt from the book the Pot brought home from the school library this week
called Elvis the Turnip ... and Me (from the Zack Files series)

[The tabloid papers in the supermarket were right! Elvis had come back from the dead. As a turnip! And he was hanging out in my dad's vegetable bin.

The turnip had calmed down by now. SoI picked it up from the kitchen floor.

"Mercy!" said the turnip. "Who are you?"

"My name's Zack," I answered. "Who are you?"

"Folks call me a lotta things, son," said the turnip. "But Ah answer to the name of Elvis."

"Why are you in my dad's vegetable bin?"

"Because Ah'm a vegetable, son. That's where us vegetables take care of business."

"Before you were a turnip, were you a world-famous singer?"

"No, son. Before Ah was a turnip, Ah was justa little ol' turnip seed in Tennessee.

"You mean you're not Elvis Presley, come back from the dead?"

"No, son. Ah'm Elvis the turnip, and Ah've come from the vegetable store on the corner. Your daddy bought me this morning."

"But you look just like Elvis Presley. And you were singing 'You Ain't Nothin' but a Hound Dog.'"

"Son, not everybody who looks like Elvis and sings 'You Ain't Nothin' but a Hound Dog'is Elvis. Have y'all been to Las Vegas?"]

That is all. Just thought y'all should know about this. Love, Ms. Pink
Friday, September 16th, 2005
8:17 am
a few select Jewish haiku from the longer list someone sent me ...
Like a bonsai tree,
your terrible posture
at my dinner table.

The shivah visit:
so sorry about your loss.
Now back to my problems.

Seven-foot Jews
in the NBA slam-dunking!
My alarm clock rings.

Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh

A lovely nose ring,
excuse me
while I put my head in the oven.
-----------------------------------

What did readherring say last night that I didn't have enough of to post?! Courage? Fortitude? Time?

Hah!

What else did we discuss of interest last night? Well, Katrina and the Waves, of course! Why is no one but me talking about Katrina and the Waves?

Love, Ms. Pink
Friday, June 24th, 2005
1:13 pm
my soap (and the box it comes in)
Hello. So I'm really picky about soap. I like glycerine type soaps like Neutragena, except ones that meet these criteria:

1. have pleasant foodie aromas - fruit scents are nice as is vanilla.
2. have no annoying edges ... roundish or ovalish is nice.
3. are foamy/lathery
4. are reasonably long-lasting

So I like this particular kind that used to be made by the Sonoma Soap company. I used to get it at my beloved Zagara's grocery store (now defunct). It met all the criteria and came in many varieties. I've been missing it (and have been much dirtier) since. So just recently ... I dunno why it took me so long to think of this ... I looked Sonoma Soap up in google and thought I'd order a bunch of it on-line. I found it and tried to order it ... but it never came. I optimistically waited many weeks before finally inquiring, just yesterday, about the order. I wrote to the customer service address at the site that purportedly sold me the soap and they said that my order had been cancelled because Sonoma Soap company is now defunct too.

Does anybody have any soapy suggestions for me (besides the obvious things like "get a hobby!"?

Love, Ms. Pink

P.S. And yes ... ReadHerring ... I did enjoy that filthyhippie soap that you gifted us recently ... but it was quite tiny and is now gone ... and, anyway, what have you done for me LATELY?
Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
9:48 pm
I AM a running joke! And you'll never catch me! Run, run, as fast as as you can - you can't catch me, I'm the personwithoutlj man!

Ma-ha! Ma-ha-ha! Ma-ha-ha-ha-ha!
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